By James Harris | Oct 18, 2013
Where do you even begin with this one?
A 33-year-old man has spent close to $100,000 over five years for plastic surgery to look like Justin Bieber. This definitely isn't the first time men have paid ridiculous amounts of money in a absurd attempts to look better, but this might be the most insane. Toby Sheldon, a song writer, has spent his monetary savings on constant surgeries that are meant to give him a smile and eyes like Bieber.
The amount of fuckedness contained in this story is flabbergasting. First off, this man is 33-years-old. Is being able to "smize" like Biebs the top concern of grown-ass men these days? Someone who goes to such lengths may in some cases deserve a bit of pity for being so manipulated by emulating celebrities that they alter their entire physical reality, but not when they've spent over three decades on Earth.
Also, if you're going to spend your life's savings on a ridiculous goal, at least make sure you obtain that goal! Instead, dude looks like the cover star of the pamphlets cops bring to elementary school presentations to speak on the dangers of getting into vans with strangers. He could also be an IRL stunt-double for Team America's version of Matt Damon.
If you can get over the societal fuckery of celebrity culture that this bizarre incident is a very intense microcosm of, then please dissect what is happening and leave your thoughts in the comments. Otherwise, don't look at this guy's face for too long unless you want to give yourself nightmares and/or potentially punch your computer screen out of rage.