"Queen Bellaflora swept her wand o’er the waterfall’s foam, making it pop like the snot-bubbles on your baby sister’s face." ...And 32 More of the Most Terrible First Sentences in the History of American Literature
Do you know what the Bulwer-Lytton Prize is? Neither did I until I read the 33 worst first sentences in the history of literature. They are hilariously bad, and more often than not, they're annoyingly awkward. And it's the awkwardness that adds to the fun of it.
Inspired by novelist and playwright Edward George Bulwer-Lytton’s famous “it was a dark and stormy night” opener, the contest asks writers to submit an opening sentence for the “worst of all possible novels” in all genres. So this means that children's literature is included, which inspires some of the funniest of the opening lines, one being the title of this blog.
"The fairies of Minglewood, which is near Dingly Pool, were having a grand revel with flower-cakes, and butterfly dances, looking ever so pretty, while Queen Bellaflora swept her wand o’er the waterfall’s foam, making it pop like the snot-bubbles on your baby sister’s face."
See? Almost too awkward to have been printed...but it was. SMH. Here's the site: 33 of the Most Hilariously Terrible First Lines in Literature History. You've been warned.
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My name is Nicholas Emeigh, but everyone calls me Nick, and I prefer it. I'm usually called Nicholas when I'm in trouble. I'm from the Philadelphia area, work in business, and fancy myself as a freelance graphic designer, writer, and artist. I have a passion for art in all its forms including music, but I restrict my singing to the shower and the car for the good of society. If you'd like to know more, just send me an e-mail. I really appreciate you stopping by.