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D-E
Daytime Nightmares
My dog tries to lick the dream
off of me like it's an evil honey
coating, and it lingers as honey
would on the skin. I can't shake
it off, it has stained me, and it
begins to eat away at my flesh--
this dream acid threatens to kill me
slowly. It charms with familiar
places and people having good times,
but it soon turns black and vile.
By the time I see what is happening,
I can't escape. I can't wake up. My
past has caught up with me and is
ensuring I pay, endure its torture.
My dog tries to lick the dream
off of me like it's an evil honey
coating, and it lingers as honey
would on the skin. I can't shake
it off, it has stained me, and it
begins to eat away at my flesh--
this dream acid threatens to kill me
slowly. It charms with familiar
places and people having good times,
but it soon turns black and vile.
By the time I see what is happening,
I can't escape. I can't wake up. My
past has caught up with me and is
ensuring I pay, endure its torture.
Doe
the sun is masc, the moon is fem,
and i’m the dusk and dawn
i’m the point from which they stem
in chess I’d be the pawn
not the king and not the queen
a subject of their game
i’m not nice and i’m not mean
i’m me, but have no name
the sun is masc, the moon is fem,
and i’m the dusk and dawn
i’m the point from which they stem
in chess I’d be the pawn
not the king and not the queen
a subject of their game
i’m not nice and i’m not mean
i’m me, but have no name
Don't Tell
I'm happy, but don't tell anyone,
I have to keep it a secret from myself
especially, I know I'll ruin it,
sabotage myself into thinking
it's either not real, or it's tainted
by the what-ifs or the could've beens
that lurk like animated shadows
waiting to hug me and win me over,
but I am trying not to let them
because right now, this very minute,
I'm okay, and I'm happy, and I'm safe,
and there's a cloud around me
protecting me, separating me.
Please don't tell anyone.
You must've. It's gone. How can I trust
you now? How can I trust anyone?
I can't even trust myself.
My happiness is gone. I just had it.
And it's gone.
You know what would make me happy?
Being me, fully, and not caring
what anyone else thought,
and being happy being crazy,
being wild, doing whatever I wanted.
I can get there, but then it's time
for bed, and everyone's asleep.
I had it once.
Maybe I held it too tight,
maybe I didn't love it enough,
maybe I never wanted it to begin with,
and maybe it wasn't my fault,
but it was nice while it lasted.
I'll spend the rest of my life looking
for it in all the wrong places.
I'm happy, but don't tell anyone,
I have to keep it a secret from myself
especially, I know I'll ruin it,
sabotage myself into thinking
it's either not real, or it's tainted
by the what-ifs or the could've beens
that lurk like animated shadows
waiting to hug me and win me over,
but I am trying not to let them
because right now, this very minute,
I'm okay, and I'm happy, and I'm safe,
and there's a cloud around me
protecting me, separating me.
Please don't tell anyone.
You must've. It's gone. How can I trust
you now? How can I trust anyone?
I can't even trust myself.
My happiness is gone. I just had it.
And it's gone.
You know what would make me happy?
Being me, fully, and not caring
what anyone else thought,
and being happy being crazy,
being wild, doing whatever I wanted.
I can get there, but then it's time
for bed, and everyone's asleep.
I had it once.
Maybe I held it too tight,
maybe I didn't love it enough,
maybe I never wanted it to begin with,
and maybe it wasn't my fault,
but it was nice while it lasted.
I'll spend the rest of my life looking
for it in all the wrong places.
Down Deep
I can't swim and I don't float,
I'm weighed down by these burdens;
I have no choice, I have no boat,
I can't breathe under water.
Failures' figures take on weight,
Meld themselves into one;
I build a raft and load the freight,
but there's no room for me.
My debts become the man I am,
and I'm expendable;
As long as money's worth a damn
what's owed consumes my soul.
I dwell in bottoms dark and deep,
Like lead there is no up;
Pleasures of wealth take long to seep
down to where I reside.
All hope is momentary fun,
so please me now and fast;
then swim back up and take a ton
and then send down a friend.
I can't swim and I don't float,
I'm weighed down by these burdens;
I have no choice, I have no boat,
I can't breathe under water.
Failures' figures take on weight,
Meld themselves into one;
I build a raft and load the freight,
but there's no room for me.
My debts become the man I am,
and I'm expendable;
As long as money's worth a damn
what's owed consumes my soul.
I dwell in bottoms dark and deep,
Like lead there is no up;
Pleasures of wealth take long to seep
down to where I reside.
All hope is momentary fun,
so please me now and fast;
then swim back up and take a ton
and then send down a friend.
The Dreamer
(♫ Reading Available)
One night I sat there mindless
dreaming of those gone and timeless.
Thoughts were scattered everywhere
amongst the starry sky.
Outside there was a creature,
behind its mask there was a dreamer--
a dreamer sent from distant skies
where all lost souls are found.
The dreamer came inside
as the moon called forth the tide.
He told tales about his journey
before he learned to fly.
The light--a candle burning.
On the wall a shadow's lurking.
Looks behind to find a meaning--
perhaps an open door.
Loneliness diminished
as his tale he came to finish,
putting music to my words
that no one's ever heard.
The black fades into white
as the hours pushed the night
into light for just a day
until we dream again.
(♫ Reading Available)
One night I sat there mindless
dreaming of those gone and timeless.
Thoughts were scattered everywhere
amongst the starry sky.
Outside there was a creature,
behind its mask there was a dreamer--
a dreamer sent from distant skies
where all lost souls are found.
The dreamer came inside
as the moon called forth the tide.
He told tales about his journey
before he learned to fly.
The light--a candle burning.
On the wall a shadow's lurking.
Looks behind to find a meaning--
perhaps an open door.
Loneliness diminished
as his tale he came to finish,
putting music to my words
that no one's ever heard.
The black fades into white
as the hours pushed the night
into light for just a day
until we dream again.
Dreams Of A Real Life
A dream that I was dying, killed
Murdered by a friendly hand
The fact my life was threatened, willed
Upon me not by my demand
Made me start to cry and beg
My friend to spare my life. Oh, please!
But he had shot me in the leg
Before I could get on my knees
I don't remember when I died
I woke before the killing shot
Now in my earthly bed I hide
From death, I've learned that I am not
Prepared for what comes after this
I need to repent for my sins
This preparation I can't miss
Grenades erase, so pull the pins
Enough with losses, time for wins
Never too late to start anew
Throw regret in garbage bins
A burden shared is split in two
Friend who killed me in my dream,
I will not share my life with you
Fruition won't come your scheme
Prepare, my friend and foe, to fight!
A dream that I was dying, killed
Murdered by a friendly hand
The fact my life was threatened, willed
Upon me not by my demand
Made me start to cry and beg
My friend to spare my life. Oh, please!
But he had shot me in the leg
Before I could get on my knees
I don't remember when I died
I woke before the killing shot
Now in my earthly bed I hide
From death, I've learned that I am not
Prepared for what comes after this
I need to repent for my sins
This preparation I can't miss
Grenades erase, so pull the pins
Enough with losses, time for wins
Never too late to start anew
Throw regret in garbage bins
A burden shared is split in two
Friend who killed me in my dream,
I will not share my life with you
Fruition won't come your scheme
Prepare, my friend and foe, to fight!
Easter '94 -'14
Within the span of twenty years:
With laughter joy, with loss the fears
Of all my nightmares coming true,
And now this Easter without you.
As I walk down Kingwood Lane,
I see it's family time again;
Cars line both sides of the way,
And loved ones feast on Easter day.
I hear the laughter from windows
All decked out with eggs and bows,
And envy their clear lack of loss,
And baskets lined with colored floss.
Just like the ones you made for me
So long ago when "I" was "we",
And "me" was "us" under the tree
Taking pictures, saying cheese.
Then sitting down to dinner. Pain
Is plentiful on Kingwood Lane.
At least in number eighty-six;
Your memory stored in all the bricks.
Within the span of twenty years:
With laughter joy, with loss the fears
Of all my nightmares coming true,
And now this Easter without you.
As I walk down Kingwood Lane,
I see it's family time again;
Cars line both sides of the way,
And loved ones feast on Easter day.
I hear the laughter from windows
All decked out with eggs and bows,
And envy their clear lack of loss,
And baskets lined with colored floss.
Just like the ones you made for me
So long ago when "I" was "we",
And "me" was "us" under the tree
Taking pictures, saying cheese.
Then sitting down to dinner. Pain
Is plentiful on Kingwood Lane.
At least in number eighty-six;
Your memory stored in all the bricks.
Easy Street Wasn't Paved
(♫ Reading Available)
Driving through town in a Mercedes Benz
en route to a personal shopping assistant
dripping with diamonds and envious friends
smile at the thought and it’s gone in an instant
Thousands and thousands spent on dinner parties
Bumping my elbow with heads of our state
Worrying husband is drinking at Sardi’s
This meal cost him five hundred a plate
Take off the suit that was made in Milan
suits that I once would’ve bought with a loan
Slip into slippers and left-over flan
Wonder how, even now, I am left all alone
Pills on the table that take me to sleep
Sometimes I don’t count the pills that I take
Drinks that remind me I don’t earn my keep
Tears that remind me I’m still wide awake
(♫ Reading Available)
Driving through town in a Mercedes Benz
en route to a personal shopping assistant
dripping with diamonds and envious friends
smile at the thought and it’s gone in an instant
Thousands and thousands spent on dinner parties
Bumping my elbow with heads of our state
Worrying husband is drinking at Sardi’s
This meal cost him five hundred a plate
Take off the suit that was made in Milan
suits that I once would’ve bought with a loan
Slip into slippers and left-over flan
Wonder how, even now, I am left all alone
Pills on the table that take me to sleep
Sometimes I don’t count the pills that I take
Drinks that remind me I don’t earn my keep
Tears that remind me I’m still wide awake
The End of the World
(♫ Reading Available)
If the world was ending soon,
And we can't yet live on the moon,
I'd gather loved ones in a room
To ride through the impending doom;
Grateful that I lived for love,
Have seen the proof of God above,
And witnessed greatness in the raw,
So not to fear the martial law
That may or may not happen when
The world comes to an end, and then...
(♫ Reading Available)
If the world was ending soon,
And we can't yet live on the moon,
I'd gather loved ones in a room
To ride through the impending doom;
Grateful that I lived for love,
Have seen the proof of God above,
And witnessed greatness in the raw,
So not to fear the martial law
That may or may not happen when
The world comes to an end, and then...
Ever-Autumn Town
(♫ Reading Available)
In dreams I live where times are old,
Where leaves will turn an orange-gold
When chill of winter wind is cold
In Ever-Autumn Town
My spirit lives and never dies,
And children never speak of lies
With dreams of building past the skies
In Ever-Autumn Town
Jack-o-lanterns line the way
Their faces glow through mid of day
Where passing souls will make their stay
In Ever-Autumn Town
The streets are dark by nine o'clock
You'll find that doors aren't made to lock
And picket fences 'round the block
In Ever-Autumn Town
The milkman brings the day anew
Where dreamers' visions grace the view,
And doers -- there have come a few
In Ever-Autumn Town
This is my dream of memories made
of photographs that brown and fade
In scrapbooks stained with lemonade
In Ever-Autumn Town
I hear the crackle in the air,
for autumn leaves are blowing there.
Come with me, there's enough to share
In Ever-Autumn Town
(♫ Reading Available)
In dreams I live where times are old,
Where leaves will turn an orange-gold
When chill of winter wind is cold
In Ever-Autumn Town
My spirit lives and never dies,
And children never speak of lies
With dreams of building past the skies
In Ever-Autumn Town
Jack-o-lanterns line the way
Their faces glow through mid of day
Where passing souls will make their stay
In Ever-Autumn Town
The streets are dark by nine o'clock
You'll find that doors aren't made to lock
And picket fences 'round the block
In Ever-Autumn Town
The milkman brings the day anew
Where dreamers' visions grace the view,
And doers -- there have come a few
In Ever-Autumn Town
This is my dream of memories made
of photographs that brown and fade
In scrapbooks stained with lemonade
In Ever-Autumn Town
I hear the crackle in the air,
for autumn leaves are blowing there.
Come with me, there's enough to share
In Ever-Autumn Town
Everyone
Everyone thinks I'm out to get them
Everyone thinks I'm suspect prime
Everyone thinks I'm going crazy
Maybe they'll be right this time.
Everyone fights an up-hill battle
Everyone gets down sometimes
Everyone thinks I'm cold, unfeeling
Maybe we have different minds.
Everyone feels a loss their own way
Everyone needs a little time
Everyone needs to be alone
Now, I am alone with mine.
Everyone thinks I'm out to get them
Everyone thinks I'm suspect prime
Everyone thinks I'm going crazy
Maybe they'll be right this time.
Everyone fights an up-hill battle
Everyone gets down sometimes
Everyone thinks I'm cold, unfeeling
Maybe we have different minds.
Everyone feels a loss their own way
Everyone needs a little time
Everyone needs to be alone
Now, I am alone with mine.
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