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Half The Man

I've left you there rocking back and forth
not knowing that the night was slipping away
past the delusions and hallucinations and delirium
that makes it okay that this is the fourth
night in a row without sleep before morning,
but it's not okay, that's not okay anymore;

I've left you there stealing from people
who fed you and who loved you recklessly
down, down, down into the deepest, darkest
bottom anyone's ever seen because the Earth
only goes so deep, but the soul is a hole
filled with eternity, luck, and choices;

I've left you there acting like nothing's wrong
and nothing ever was, but not knowing
you're broken and broken down means
you don't know you need help getting back up
or where up even is, because I left you
before you uttered the words I give up;

I've left you there in a Godless world
with Godless people on a trajectory downward,
attracting people and things that
lubricated the slope down, and I watched you
get a running start before jumping onto the slide
and sailing down having little kid fun;

I left you there mutilating your body,
the only reminder left that your mother
was your greatest inspiration and your creator;
you mourn her death, grieve for your loss,
and at the same time actively work to destroy
the greatest gift she ever gave you;

I've left you there with a rusty blade
praying for God to take you before
you had to press it into your veins for release
from this population of people who always
seem to be doing better than you, but who
would have pressed down long ago...

...if they were half the man I've left behind.

© 2014 Nicholas Emeigh

Read by the Author

COMING
SOON

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SoundCloud Reading

Part of the group "Record-A-Poem," and part of the Playlist "The Poetry of Nicholas Emeigh" which includes 40+ other poems.

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Notes: This poem was written on Wednesday, January 29, 2014.  It was inspired by the purging of an old self in order to embrace something new.

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