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Half The Man
I've left you there rocking back and forth
not knowing that the night was slipping away past the delusions and hallucinations and delirium that makes it okay that this is the fourth night in a row without sleep before morning, but it's not okay, that's not okay anymore; I've left you there stealing from people who fed you and who loved you recklessly down, down, down into the deepest, darkest bottom anyone's ever seen because the Earth only goes so deep, but the soul is a hole filled with eternity, luck, and choices; I've left you there acting like nothing's wrong and nothing ever was, but not knowing you're broken and broken down means you don't know you need help getting back up or where up even is, because I left you before you uttered the words I give up; I've left you there in a Godless world with Godless people on a trajectory downward, attracting people and things that lubricated the slope down, and I watched you get a running start before jumping onto the slide and sailing down having little kid fun; I left you there mutilating your body, the only reminder left that your mother was your greatest inspiration and your creator; you mourn her death, grieve for your loss, and at the same time actively work to destroy the greatest gift she ever gave you; I've left you there with a rusty blade praying for God to take you before you had to press it into your veins for release from this population of people who always seem to be doing better than you, but who would have pressed down long ago... ...if they were half the man I've left behind. © 2014 Nicholas Emeigh |
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Part of the group "Record-A-Poem," and part of the Playlist "The Poetry of Nicholas Emeigh" which includes 40+ other poems.
Notes: This poem was written on Wednesday, January 29, 2014. It was inspired by the purging of an old self in order to embrace something new.
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