NICHOLAS EMEIGH
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Home » Writing Portfolio » Entire Collection » A B C D-E F-G H-J K-M N-O P-Q R S T U V-Z » Greatest Hits

Don't Tell

I'm happy, but don't tell anyone,
I have to keep it a secret from myself
especially, I know I'll ruin it,
sabotage myself into thinking
it's either not real, or it's tainted
by the what-ifs or the could've beens
that lurk like animated shadows
waiting to hug me and win me over,
but I am trying not to let them
because right now, this very minute,
I'm okay, and I'm happy, and I'm safe,
and there's a cloud around me
protecting me, separating me.
Please don't tell anyone.

You must've. It's gone. How can I trust
you now? How can I trust anyone?
I can't even trust myself.
My happiness is gone. I just had it.
And it's gone.

You know what would make me happy?
Being me, fully, and not caring
what anyone else thought,
and being happy being crazy,
being wild, doing whatever I wanted.
I can get there, but then it's time
for bed, and everyone's asleep.

I had it once.
Maybe I held it too tight,
maybe I didn't love it enough,
maybe I never wanted it to begin with,
and maybe it wasn't my fault,
but it was nice while it lasted.
I'll spend the rest of my life looking
for it in all the wrong places.

© 2014 Nicholas Emeigh

Read by the Author

COMING
SOON


SoundCloud Reading

Part of the group "Record-A-Poem," and part of the Playlist "The Poetry of Nicholas Emeigh" which includes 40+ other poems.
COMING
SOON


Notes: This poem was written on Friday, February 14, 2014.  It's about the way I am with happiness.  Or the way happiness is with me.  It's fleeting.

©
The unique works displayed on the pages herein are © 1997-2013 Nicholas Emeigh. Use is restricted.

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  • Home
  • Writing
    • Poetry - Entire Collection >
      • Poems A-M >
        • A >
          • 4 a.m. in Beantown
          • About The Way You Look In This Photo
          • Airborne
          • All About Me
          • Amazing Motherhood
          • An Ant's Heartbeat
          • Angry, Angrier, Angriest
          • Antiquated
          • Art of Coasting, The
          • Autumn Leaves
        • B >
          • Bad Touches
          • Baggage
          • Bar Lighting
          • Behold This Love I've Laid to Rest
          • Benevolent God, A
          • Birth of a Generation
          • Blowing Smoke
          • Blue Balloon
          • Bohemians
          • Breakfast
          • Burn
          • Busy Museum
        • C >
          • Calico Waves
          • Carried
          • Caulk
          • Chapbook
          • Cocoon
          • Cold
          • Contortionist, The
          • Conundrum
          • Courage In Faith
          • Cowboys and Kings
        • D-E >
          • Daytime Nightmares
          • Doe
          • Don't Tell
          • Down Deep
          • Dreamer, The
          • Dreams Of A Real Life
          • Easter '94-'14
          • Easy Street Wasn't Paved
          • End of the World, The
          • Ever-Autumn Town
          • Everyone
        • F-G >
          • Family
          • Fear of Heights
          • First Fall Harvest
          • Footprints
          • Forecasting
          • Fragile
          • Friends
          • Fucked
          • Funeral For Me and You, A
          • Grandparents Day
          • Grounding Exercise
          • Growing Up
        • H-J >
          • Haiku on Working
          • Half The Man
          • Heaven
          • High Wire Walker
          • Him
          • Homestead
          • I Am Cold Turkey
          • If
          • Imaginary Friends
          • Instant Safety: Add Water & Stir
          • Interview
          • Iridescence
          • I Still Dream of You
          • It's A Funny Thing Being Lonely
          • Just Answering a Question
        • K-M >
          • The Key
          • King of Marigolds
          • Lost Souls
          • Love As Such
          • Love Song
          • Lube
          • Machine Dreams
          • A Makeshift Prayer
          • Maniac
          • Manifesto
          • Masks
          • Maybe Account, The
          • May Twenty Third
          • Money
          • Mother's Day
          • Muse
          • Musing on a Hunt
          • My Mother's Eyes
      • Poems N-Z >
        • N-O >
          • Napster Revolt
          • Nest
          • New Year
          • Noël Coward's Party
          • No Fun
          • Not Cool
          • Not Crazy
          • Old Love
          • On Norman Mailer's Death
        • P-Q >
          • Painter Man
          • Party People
          • Perfume
          • Personal Wealth
          • Philadelphia
          • Pity Party
          • Plan, A
          • Please Leave the Memories
          • Politics
          • Prankster
          • Present Company Excluded
          • Pride It Was And Dignity
          • Puppy Love
          • Quack
        • R >
          • Radar
          • Rated "R"
          • Real Pitfalls
          • Reconciliation
          • Respect For Elders
          • Résumé
          • Resurrection
          • Return To Light From Darkness
          • Risk
        • S >
          • Save A Place For Me
          • Sex, Fast.
          • Shell
          • She Doesn't Hold a Candle
          • Signature
          • Simple Man, A
          • Spirit Specialist
          • Spring
          • Still Life With Butter Dish
          • Studio System
          • Sup
          • The Surgeon
        • T >
          • Teacher
          • Thank God, It Was Only A Dream
          • These Voices
          • They
          • They Say I'm Crazy
          • This Doesn't Rhyme
          • A Time Before Dying
          • Toxic Friends
          • Trademark
          • Treadmill
        • U >
          • Under Bed Delivery
          • Underground Reverie
          • An Understanding
          • Unearthly
          • Untitled
          • Untitled 2
          • Untitled People
          • Untitled Sadness
          • Utopian Melodrama
        • V-Z >
          • Verse For A Death Chamber
          • Volley
          • War
          • Warming Up To Change
          • Weathered Hands
          • We the Depressed
          • What It's Like to Look at Me
          • What Would You Have Done With Me?
          • Who Can Say?
          • You, Me, and He
          • The Young Narcissists
    • SoundCloud Poetry Readings
    • YouTube Poetry Readings