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Instant Safety: Add Water & Stir
My natural resting state is unsafe,
I am not safe, I'm never safe.
My natural resting state is unrest,
I am not okay, I'm never okay.
To try and introduce safety
is like introducing powder
to water; it just rests on top
and seeps in, slowly integrating,
but there's a moment when the water
realizes it's changing, unsafe again
because change causes unrest.
Unrest is unsafety, unrest is bad,
unrest is evil, and I want to stay away
from evil. I am not safe, I am not okay,
I am not safe, I am not okay,
safe is the powder on top,
I am at the bottom in the water,
I can't wait for the powder to integrate,
for the water to envelop it,
for the safety to sink in,
and I don't have a spoon
to stir it, and I choke
on the powder and drown.
© 2014 Nicholas Emeigh
Read by the Author
Part of the group "Record-A-Poem," and part of the Playlist "The Poetry of Nicholas Emeigh" which includes 40+ other poems.
Notes: This poem was written on Wednesday, February 5, 2014. It's about mental illness -- bipolar and schizophrenia, PTST, and safety. Or the lack of safety, really, and not feeling safe ever.
The unique works displayed on the pages herein are © 1997-2013 Nicholas Emeigh. Use is restricted.
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