I subscribe to a men's fashion blog called Four Pins, and I used to love it. I read it every day since its inception, but I got one too many doses of the word "alphets" thanks to yesterday's e-mail digest. I don't know if they think they're cool or just trying too hard to be funny, but using the non-words "alphets" or "alphet" or "alphits" or "alfits" to replace "outfits" is unacceptable. It made me so mad that I unsubscribed from their e-mails. I can't stand seeing "alphets" in an otherwise intelligent blog. Here is the blog that broke the camel's back:
Long sleeve polos were very much my thing in junior high. Shit like that and rugby shirts paired with incredibly baggy khaki pants was the maneuver for a few years straight. I remember I thought a white polo like this Palace shirt, khakis and a Tigers hat worn backwards was the fucking truth when it came to alphets. I also remember hemp necklaces making sporadic appearances. Remember hot girls that made hemp necklaces? If I had a kid and he came home from school with a hemp necklace on I'd be like, "Ah, I see you, seed. You trying to get some under-the-shirt-over-the bra action at a 7:30 showing of Happy Gilmore? Just remember, not all hemp necklaces last forever, nah mean?" Yeah, I would be a pretty shitty dad.
I'm over this bullshit. Spell words as they were meant to be spelled and stop making up your own weird pop culture zeitgeist shit. It's even on Urban Dictionary, which makes it more idiotic. No one thinks it's funny. It only makes you look stupid. Stop it!
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