I'll start by saying that I hate football. There is no place in my life for football, and I am always outraged after catching a glimpse of the salaries these men are awarded for doing bullshit work. (Read: I'm completely fucking jealous of football players not only for the amount of money that they make, but because they can perform physically like I could never dream of.) Football makes me bitter and holds no entertainment value whatsoever.
But wait! I stumbled across this YouTube channel called Bad Lip Reading! Life changing. Fucking hilarious. Football has made a reentry into my universe in a blaze of glory, and my life will never be the same. The video above is my favorite, but there are others. Don't watch it at work unless you're on break because you WILL laugh out loud. Hard. I'm not exaggerating. Enjoy!
Mark Twain said it beautifully, "All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure. ” Oh, so true!
I went to WalMart tonight to pick up some tea and ice cream (wonderful combo, I know), and was astonished at the level of happiness I saw in individuals who are very clearly and hopelessly ignorant. Now, I don't mean rude or stupid, although some of them could be, but I mean that they have no connection to the realities of humanity and the way it works.
They seem to go along, very happily, as large, lazy, junk eaters who only gain amusement out of being confronted by the ways of the world and other people. I marveled at the lack of concern about what others must think of them, and stood in wonderment at the self checkout as a woman devoured a melted carton of Ben and Jerry's ice cream as she paid for her diabetic-coma-waiting-to-happen grocery bill with a food stamp card. She looked stress-free without a care in the world.
Meanwhile, I can't leave the house if I haven't showered and made myself presentable, even if it's just a trip to WalMart. I need to see a therapist twice a week to work on issues that stem as far back as my single digit childhood years. I am always stressed, and even have panic attacks. This leaves me thinking I've been living this life devastatingly wrong, and I am surely missing out on some secret. The secret of not giving a shit. If someone could clue me in to this awesome way of living, please do so in the comments. Thank you in advance!
I love the Poo~Pourri commercial! I did some research, found that Bethany Woodruff is the actress in the hilarious video, and discovered the blooper reel and interview below. She has made my day yet again. There's nothing like bathroom humor to brighten your day! Enjoy, and happy Monday!
< Queenie Liao, a mother, photographer, and artist, decided to make the most of her son Wengenn's naptime by creating these fantastic dreamscapes around him as he slept. They are beautiful, intricate, and imaginative. She then photographed them, and the collected images were formed into a book called Sleepy Baby. Visit the gallery on Bored Panda for a few more images, and like her gallery, "Wengenn in Wonderland," on Facebook.
Another creative parent, Anna Eftimie, drew chalk scenes and landscapes around her baby as he slept. She called the collected photographs "Blackboard Adventures." She also maintains a website called Cute Moments Photography.
While we're on the subject of kids, mother Lee Samantha plays with her kid's food, forming scenes out of rice, fish, meat, vegetables, and sauces. It's something you have to see to believe. Like the mothers mentioned above, her food art went viral and she has a blog where she posts her daily meal time creations. The memories that these moms are creating show how much they adore their children.
> I was engrossed by BuzzFeed's article "22 Things That Belong in Every Bookworm's Dream Home," and ended up spending over an hour just staring at the photos with envy. My very favorite photo is of the book reading nook to the right, which includes a chair and ottoman, ceiling fan, shelving and storage, a day bed with comforter and pillows, and a beautiful window to gaze through between chapters. I would never leave the house if I had a nook like this. Other items I enjoyed included a staircase made of books, some very clever shelving, a headboard made of open books, and clever seating designed specifically for reading books comfortably.
This past Tuesday, the New York Times featured a New York City photographer named Flo Fox, who has been photographing her urban surroundings for decades. What makes her particularly unique is that Flo is blind in one eye, and slowly but surely losing the sight in her other eye. She is confined to a wheelchair because her Multiple Sclerosis is progressing rapidly, but she doesn't let that stop her! Watch the video and be inspired.
< I was in awe of some of the photographs featured in TwistedSifter's article "18 Striking Images from Space Show Earth's Rich Tapestry." The image to the left shows several perfect circles which are Libya's Al Jawf Oasis. I find it incredible that these perfect dark circles are springs of water, naturally occurring in the middle of a vast desert. Other impressive photos show the Mississippi delta, algae and plankton flourishing in the earth's oceans that put on a beautiful show which is visible from space, and the agricultural structure of Kansas in shades of red which is particularly striking. I don't think I'll get a chance to view the earth this way first hand, so this is the next best thing.
> Everyone knows I adore animals; therefore, I love animated pet GIFs. BuzzFeed compiled the "30 Best Cat GIF Pictures in the History of Cat GIFs," and I was in pet heaven for about 30 minutes. These loveable little cats are caught in the most hilarious situations just being awesome. Some may not consider this art, and even though I am more of a dog person, I definitely do!
Upworthy, an inspirational blog, posted this really odd project coordinated by photographer Richard Rinaldi. He is working on a series of portraits where he poses two or more random people--strangers--together in loving poses. These folks are posed hugging and touching in ways that look like they are lovers, family, or very close friends, but these strangers have never met until now. Subjects say that when posed together, lovingly touching, they begin to feel a closeness that they would only experience with actual friends and loved ones. In a world where we are connected mainly through digital means, this project brings a sense of unity to a society used to minding their own business and keeping a safe distance.
Everyone loves their grandmother's cooking, and we all have a treasured memory of our grandmother in the kitchen preparing her signature dish. Gabriele Galimberti traveled the globe to photograph grandmothers from all cultures and walks of life with their signature dish. It brings back all the warm and fuzzy feelings of standing next to your grandmother in the kitchen, probably in her way, watching her expertly prepare a dish she had been making for decades. I'm warning you, though: don't look at this photo collection if you're hungry. Results may be disastrous!
Bronzer or Blackface? Julianne Hough Dresses as Crazy Eyes from Orange is the New Black for Halloween. (Pics & Video)
Would I have done it? No, but I don't think dressing up as Crazy Eyes from Orange is the New Black for Halloween is racist. Apparently there are people out there who think it is, though, because there is a storm of controversy surrounding Julianne Hough's choice of costume this Halloween.
She's pictured left dressed as Crazy Eyes, wearing an orange jumpsuit, prison I.D., a knotted hairdo, and what looks to be an excessive amount of bronzer. Some are considering this to be "blackface" makeup, which it technically is, but I don't think Julianne meant it to be offensive. I think it is her tribute to her favorite character from Orange is the New Black.
Crazy Eyes is one of my favorite characters (OITNB is one of my favorite shows), and if you're going to dress like her for Halloween and you're Caucasian, you'd need to darken your skin somehow for anyone to know who you were portraying. It's a matter of accuracy. If you didn't and went to a Halloween party as a white girl portraying Crazy Eyes, everyone would notice the missing element: dark skin.
What does everyone think? My friend Tom says that Julianne's bronzed face is no different than painting your face green to portray the Wicked Witch character from the Wizard of Oz. If an African-American person whitened their face with makeup or powder to portray a Caucasian character, I would not be offended. I don't see this as a racial issue, but I am willing to admit fault if I am wrong. Let me know what you think in the comments.
My comments: this guy is clearly insane. There's something wrong with him, and I would feel sorry for him if it weren't so damned creepy. This guy looked so much better before the surgery, including his hair. His hair now is retarded. His brows are even scarier. Here's the full article from Complex:
33-Year-Old Man Spends Nearly $100,000 for Plastic Surgery to Look Like Justin Bieber
By James Harris | Oct 18, 2013
Where do you even begin with this one?
A 33-year-old man has spent close to $100,000 over five years for plastic surgery to look like Justin Bieber. This definitely isn't the first time men have paid ridiculous amounts of money in a absurd attempts to look better, but this might be the most insane. Toby Sheldon, a song writer, has spent his monetary savings on constant surgeries that are meant to give him a smile and eyes like Bieber.
The amount of fuckedness contained in this story is flabbergasting. First off, this man is 33-years-old. Is being able to "smize" like Biebs the top concern of grown-ass men these days? Someone who goes to such lengths may in some cases deserve a bit of pity for being so manipulated by emulating celebrities that they alter their entire physical reality, but not when they've spent over three decades on Earth.
Also, if you're going to spend your life's savings on a ridiculous goal, at least make sure you obtain that goal! Instead, dude looks like the cover star of the pamphlets cops bring to elementary school presentations to speak on the dangers of getting into vans with strangers. He could also be an IRL stunt-double for Team America's version of Matt Damon.
If you can get over the societal fuckery of celebrity culture that this bizarre incident is a very intense microcosm of, then please dissect what is happening and leave your thoughts in the comments. Otherwise, don't look at this guy's face for too long unless you want to give yourself nightmares and/or potentially punch your computer screen out of rage.
A mom was walking by the bathroom and happened to hear her 3-year-old son scolding himself for eating too much, listing everything he ate while having a bit of difficulty pooping. It is so cute and funny that I had to post it! Here it is:
A Touching Display of Support for LGBT Community by Italian Government Officials when told "Gay People are Inappropriate"
Italian Government Officials took to a creative protest when they were faced with the sentiment that "gay people are inappropriate." They began holding up signs, kissing and hugging members of the same sex, and kept this up for a few minutes. Take a look at the video here, and read the article in Upworthy here.
If this doesn't look like Matt Damon, then I must be blind! This is hilarious! If someone photoshopped drag makeup onto Matt Damon, took a photo, converted it to black and white, and posted it on Twitter, this is what the final product would look like. Oh, I'm so amused.
PooPourri is a brilliantly marketed room spray designed to help with a very common problem. People usually poop at least once a day if they're healthy, so PouPourri is really a commodity item. Everyone is embarrassed by the bathroom smells they emit and naturally want to cover them up. PooPourri has filled that need using natural essential oils to create a layer over the waterline in your toilet bowl, trapping nasty odors in the water so they can be flushed without leaving a lingering brown smell. PouPourri is a product anyone could make, but it's the marketing that makes this product brilliant. Blunt bathroom humor delivered by a proper British lass in a dress. Hilarious. Elvis Duran featured it on his Q102 Philadelphia Morning Show, and the video itself has received in excess of 3 million views in just over a month. It was posted on September 10th, and as of today it has 3,693,298 views, and over 4 million units have been sold since its inception. Impressive.
PleatedJeans.com brings us a hilarious compilation of misheard song lyrics. My favorite being, "I want to shit on a clown...with you-ou-ou-ou-ou!" from a Sia song. You'll recognize it instantly. There are several other misheard lyrics videos on their YouTube channel, along with some other funny stuff. Check it out.
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My name is Nicholas Emeigh, but everyone calls me Nick, and I prefer it. I'm usually called Nicholas when I'm in trouble. I'm from the Philadelphia area, work in business, and fancy myself as a freelance graphic designer, writer, and artist. I have a passion for art in all its forms including music, but I restrict my singing to the shower and the car for the good of society. If you'd like to know more, just send me an e-mail. I really appreciate you stopping by.