First of all...
I love you, Sarah Paulson. (And you're gay, yay!) (And she was on my favorite radio show this morning, Elvis Duran!) You make an amazing supreme, and you couldn't have looked any better in last night's Coven finale. Seriously, didn't she look amazing? I did not see it coming, but it totally makes sense that Cordelia, being Jessica Lange's daughter and all, would be next in line for the title of supreme. (I have to admit, I thought it was going to be Misty Day (Lily Rabe). And, aww, Jessica Lange, even when you're dying you look beautiful.
But you woke up in hell, looking sleepy, but gorgeous... "KNOTTY PINE!!!!!" My favorite line of the night. "Balenciagaaaaaaa!" was my second favorite line. Third was "open the doors." Knotty pine was just amazingly hilarious, though, even though my poor Fiona was in hell.
I almost forgot about Stevie Nicks. Holy shit. That was epic, and Seven Wonders is my favorite song. Here she is talking about it and being fabulous.
This blog is so poorly written, I'm sorry, I'm just so excited! And sad that it's over, but EXCITED! Oh, it was so good!
Myrtle Snow, played by Frances Conroy, was amazing at all times. She compared something awful to Halston selling his line to JCPenney which made me laugh my ass off. Oh my God, I will miss this season! SO MUCH!!!
I can't wait for what's next, and I hope they reuse the cast of Coven. Most importantly Cordelia, Fiona, Myrtle, and Kyle (Evan Peters). I have a major crush on Evan Peters; however, I hate that he's dating that Madison (Emma Roberts) girl. Even if she's the nicest person ever in real life, I'll always hate her because of her character Madison. Irrational? You betcha!
But, then again, I'm a fan of American Horror Story. What's rational about that?
P.S. Thank you, Ryan Murphy, for another amazing season! I can't wait to see what's next!
P.P.S. Aaaahhhh! I can't believe it's over!! What will I do until season 4!?)
P.P.P.S Sorry for gay-ing out on you like that. It's just what I do when I'm excited, natch.
The following are the nominees for the 2014 Academy Awards (the ones I care about) announced by Cheryl Boone Isaacs, president of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, on Thursday. For some strange reason, she was joined by "Hunger Games" actor Chris Hemsworth. Weird. I wonder who he had to screw to get that spot... Anyway, The Academy Awards will air live on ABC on March 2, starting at 7 p.m. ET. Share your picks in the comments.
CNN Coverage | Official Oscar Site
Mark Twain said it beautifully, "All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure. ” Oh, so true!
I went to WalMart tonight to pick up some tea and ice cream (wonderful combo, I know), and was astonished at the level of happiness I saw in individuals who are very clearly and hopelessly ignorant. Now, I don't mean rude or stupid, although some of them could be, but I mean that they have no connection to the realities of humanity and the way it works.
They seem to go along, very happily, as large, lazy, junk eaters who only gain amusement out of being confronted by the ways of the world and other people. I marveled at the lack of concern about what others must think of them, and stood in wonderment at the self checkout as a woman devoured a melted carton of Ben and Jerry's ice cream as she paid for her diabetic-coma-waiting-to-happen grocery bill with a food stamp card. She looked stress-free without a care in the world.
Meanwhile, I can't leave the house if I haven't showered and made myself presentable, even if it's just a trip to WalMart. I need to see a therapist twice a week to work on issues that stem as far back as my single digit childhood years. I am always stressed, and even have panic attacks. This leaves me thinking I've been living this life devastatingly wrong, and I am surely missing out on some secret. The secret of not giving a shit. If someone could clue me in to this awesome way of living, please do so in the comments. Thank you in advance!
I love the Poo~Pourri commercial! I did some research, found that Bethany Woodruff is the actress in the hilarious video, and discovered the blooper reel and interview below. She has made my day yet again. There's nothing like bathroom humor to brighten your day! Enjoy, and happy Monday!
< Queenie Liao, a mother, photographer, and artist, decided to make the most of her son Wengenn's naptime by creating these fantastic dreamscapes around him as he slept. They are beautiful, intricate, and imaginative. She then photographed them, and the collected images were formed into a book called Sleepy Baby. Visit the gallery on Bored Panda for a few more images, and like her gallery, "Wengenn in Wonderland," on Facebook.
Another creative parent, Anna Eftimie, drew chalk scenes and landscapes around her baby as he slept. She called the collected photographs "Blackboard Adventures." She also maintains a website called Cute Moments Photography.
While we're on the subject of kids, mother Lee Samantha plays with her kid's food, forming scenes out of rice, fish, meat, vegetables, and sauces. It's something you have to see to believe. Like the mothers mentioned above, her food art went viral and she has a blog where she posts her daily meal time creations. The memories that these moms are creating show how much they adore their children.
> I was engrossed by BuzzFeed's article "22 Things That Belong in Every Bookworm's Dream Home," and ended up spending over an hour just staring at the photos with envy. My very favorite photo is of the book reading nook to the right, which includes a chair and ottoman, ceiling fan, shelving and storage, a day bed with comforter and pillows, and a beautiful window to gaze through between chapters. I would never leave the house if I had a nook like this. Other items I enjoyed included a staircase made of books, some very clever shelving, a headboard made of open books, and clever seating designed specifically for reading books comfortably.
This past Tuesday, the New York Times featured a New York City photographer named Flo Fox, who has been photographing her urban surroundings for decades. What makes her particularly unique is that Flo is blind in one eye, and slowly but surely losing the sight in her other eye. She is confined to a wheelchair because her Multiple Sclerosis is progressing rapidly, but she doesn't let that stop her! Watch the video and be inspired.
< I was in awe of some of the photographs featured in TwistedSifter's article "18 Striking Images from Space Show Earth's Rich Tapestry." The image to the left shows several perfect circles which are Libya's Al Jawf Oasis. I find it incredible that these perfect dark circles are springs of water, naturally occurring in the middle of a vast desert. Other impressive photos show the Mississippi delta, algae and plankton flourishing in the earth's oceans that put on a beautiful show which is visible from space, and the agricultural structure of Kansas in shades of red which is particularly striking. I don't think I'll get a chance to view the earth this way first hand, so this is the next best thing.
> Everyone knows I adore animals; therefore, I love animated pet GIFs. BuzzFeed compiled the "30 Best Cat GIF Pictures in the History of Cat GIFs," and I was in pet heaven for about 30 minutes. These loveable little cats are caught in the most hilarious situations just being awesome. Some may not consider this art, and even though I am more of a dog person, I definitely do!
Upworthy, an inspirational blog, posted this really odd project coordinated by photographer Richard Rinaldi. He is working on a series of portraits where he poses two or more random people--strangers--together in loving poses. These folks are posed hugging and touching in ways that look like they are lovers, family, or very close friends, but these strangers have never met until now. Subjects say that when posed together, lovingly touching, they begin to feel a closeness that they would only experience with actual friends and loved ones. In a world where we are connected mainly through digital means, this project brings a sense of unity to a society used to minding their own business and keeping a safe distance.
Everyone loves their grandmother's cooking, and we all have a treasured memory of our grandmother in the kitchen preparing her signature dish. Gabriele Galimberti traveled the globe to photograph grandmothers from all cultures and walks of life with their signature dish. It brings back all the warm and fuzzy feelings of standing next to your grandmother in the kitchen, probably in her way, watching her expertly prepare a dish she had been making for decades. I'm warning you, though: don't look at this photo collection if you're hungry. Results may be disastrous!
I love this letter, and can absolutely forgive the misspellings, grammar and punctuation mistakes because this grandfather is an inspiration to all men everywhere. It just gives me this good feeling that the country and its ideals are moving in the right direction. Here's my favorite part:
"The only intelligent thing I heard you saying in all this was that "you didn't raise your son to be gay." Of course you didn't. He was born this way and didn't choose it any more than he being left-handed. You, however, have made a choice of being hurtful, narrow-minded, and backward. So, while we are in the business of disowning our children, I think I'll take this moment to say goodbye to you. I now have a fabulous (as the gays put it) grandson to raise, and I don't have time for a heart-less B-word of a daughter."
How can you top that? He actually wrote that he has "a fabulous grandson to raise." My heart melted, and I laughed out loud at the same time. I can just imagine my dad saying something like that. If only he would. Grandson, if you're reading this, you are the luckiest guy on earth to have a grandfather as cool and supportive as he is. I'm jealous.
"Queen Bellaflora swept her wand o’er the waterfall’s foam, making it pop like the snot-bubbles on your baby sister’s face." ...And 32 More of the Most Terrible First Sentences in the History of American Literature
Do you know what the Bulwer-Lytton Prize is? Neither did I until I read the 33 worst first sentences in the history of literature. They are hilariously bad, and more often than not, they're annoyingly awkward. And it's the awkwardness that adds to the fun of it.
Inspired by novelist and playwright Edward George Bulwer-Lytton’s famous “it was a dark and stormy night” opener, the contest asks writers to submit an opening sentence for the “worst of all possible novels” in all genres. So this means that children's literature is included, which inspires some of the funniest of the opening lines, one being the title of this blog.
"The fairies of Minglewood, which is near Dingly Pool, were having a grand revel with flower-cakes, and butterfly dances, looking ever so pretty, while Queen Bellaflora swept her wand o’er the waterfall’s foam, making it pop like the snot-bubbles on your baby sister’s face."
See? Almost too awkward to have been printed...but it was. SMH. Here's the site: 33 of the Most Hilariously Terrible First Lines in Literature History. You've been warned.
This week, I've got a lot of photography for you, with some sculpture, writing, and architecture. I was really struck by the photographs of living situations in Hong Kong and China, and I'm still in awe of the long exposure photos of fireworks and ferris wheels. So cool. Enjoy!
PooPourri is a brilliantly marketed room spray designed to help with a very common problem. People usually poop at least once a day if they're healthy, so PouPourri is really a commodity item. Everyone is embarrassed by the bathroom smells they emit and naturally want to cover them up. PooPourri has filled that need using natural essential oils to create a layer over the waterline in your toilet bowl, trapping nasty odors in the water so they can be flushed without leaving a lingering brown smell. PouPourri is a product anyone could make, but it's the marketing that makes this product brilliant. Blunt bathroom humor delivered by a proper British lass in a dress. Hilarious. Elvis Duran featured it on his Q102 Philadelphia Morning Show, and the video itself has received in excess of 3 million views in just over a month. It was posted on September 10th, and as of today it has 3,693,298 views, and over 4 million units have been sold since its inception. Impressive.
To the left is the avatar of the moderator and main advice-giver on That Bad Advice, a website that specializes in giving terribly funny advice in a Dear Abby style. The tagline, "Here's That Bad Advice You Were Hoping For" says everything, the advice is tailored to the question asker's anticipated response to their advice-seeking question. People don't want the truth, they want to hear what they want to hear, so That Bad Advice gives them just that: the bad advice they were hoping for and nothing nothing more. Note the devilish eyes in the avatar, and proceed with caution. Here are a couple of my favorites:
Help, My Professors Sit On Their Desks!
PleatedJeans.com brings us a hilarious compilation of misheard song lyrics. My favorite being, "I want to shit on a clown...with you-ou-ou-ou-ou!" from a Sia song. You'll recognize it instantly. There are several other misheard lyrics videos on their YouTube channel, along with some other funny stuff. Check it out.
For whatever reason, I love Macklemore. He's got a different style, and I think he's sexy. I like his music to a certain extent. It does for me what I think it's meant to do: make you smile. I'm all for happy music, especially if it's supporting the gays. I'm a gay, and while I love the message in "One Love", I don't totally love it as a song. I like an uptempo song, myself. Kudos for standing up for us if you're not gay. That takes balls.
This is a funny clip from Chelsea Lately about how everyone thinks Macklemore and Ryan Lewis are gay. It's true, as he says in the clip, the second thing that comes up in the Google recommendations when you type "Macklemore" is "Macklemore gay". Poor guy. He takes it well, though, and even jokes about it. Watch the clip, it's a good laugh.
"Now It's Happening"
I just finished watching "Ayn Rand & The Prophecy of Atlas Shrugged", and am truly frightened, and truly angry. Have you read "Atlas Shrugged"? If not, you should. Every thinking man or woman should read the book. After you have, watch this documentary. There's not much to review here, it's just a handful of Ayn Rand proponents essentially outlining her philosophy, and the how the predictions of "Atlas Shrugged" have come true in the present day economy and society as a whole. If you know what's going on in the world, you'll know that it's alarmingly similar to the plot of "Atlas Shrugged", and that's the crux of the film.
Ayn Rand's philosophy of Objectivism states: "My philosophy, in essence, is the concept of man as a heroic being, with his own happiness as the moral purpose of his life, with productive achievement as his noblest activity, and reason as his only absolute." How could you disagree with that? Everywhere I hear that capitalism is failing, or capitalism has failed, but it's not the fault of capitalism that we're hovering on the edge of economic disaster. It's the fault of every politician who makes a new policy to augment or repair the damage done by the policy set in place before it. It's like a snowball rolling down a mountain, collecting size and speed as it rolls. Government better quit while it's ahead, because the next policy it creates may do us all in.
You can call me paranoid, but it's so odd that everything Ayn Rand wrote about in Atlas Shrugged is coming true today with astonishing similarity and speed. The first book of Ayn Rand's that I read was "Anthem" in my freshman year of high school. I'll never forget the impact that book had on me. The importance of the individual, the power of the word ego, and the proud use of the tiny word "I". Individualism is the code by which I've lived since then, and I have Ayn Rand to thank for it. Our government needs to take the same cue I did 16 years ago and loosen the hold it has on the productive individual. I pray they do, because I don't want to be around to see the mess politicians will make of America if they don't heed the warning in "Atlas Shrugged". A strike like that will be the end of a nation that was once the greatest in the world.
I set out looking for my favorite photo of Margaret Atwood, the one to the left, and I figured the easiest thing to do would be to go to MargaretAtwood.com. Not true, because although there is a picture, it's not my favorite; and, oddly enough, typing MargaretAtwood.com takes you to her landing page on amazon.com. Tricky. Turns out she resides at MargaretAtwood.ca instead. After all, she is Canadian.
I love Margaret Atwood for many reasons, but 4 primary reasons assert themselves: 1. Her wit, 2. "Oryx and Crake", 3. "The Year of the Flood", and 4. "MaddAddam". The last three reasons are her dystopian "MaddAddam" trilogy. The third book, titled "MaddAddam", is being released in September. I was lucky enough to get my hands on an advance digital copy, and I'm ashamed to say I haven't read it. I'll let you know when I do.
I'm a fan of Margaret Atwood on Facebook, and the inspiration for this blog post came from an article she had linked to on her Facebook wall. The article is great, but the video on the site is even better. Please watch it. She's just so well spoken and quick witted. For being 73, she's surprisingly tech savvy and cool. At least read the free excerpts on amazon.com.
I transcribed my favorite part of the video: "Dystopias just mean very unpleasant societies. So, you can have a dystopia that's a fantasy world on another planet. You can have a dystopia that is a real possibility for us. You can have a dystopia that's far, far away in a another universe and at a different time like Star Wars. So, everything that happens in dystopias is everything that we don't like. People used to put it underground and call it hell. Just as they used to put everything we like, they used to put it up in the sky and call it heaven. Within every dystopia, there's always a little bit of utopia; and in every utopia, there's always a little dystopia. It's also true that one person's utopia is another person's dystopia."
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